If you press play and then close your eyes, you will hear the sweetest-sounding voice saying all sorts of sexy things like, "You want to touch my tits?" and "I'm going to milk your big cock," and that will make you smile. If you open your eyes, you will see pretty Asian Kianna Dior, gyrating and touching her huge tits and encouraging you to jerk it. And that will be so hot, you will smile and stroke. And then, right before your eyes, you will see a serious transformation. Kianna will go from being cute to being one of the horniest, nastiest, most hardcore pornstars ever. Her never-ending stream of dirty talk and spit is only trumped by her ability to abuse a cock and balls just enough that it will hurt so good. Watch as she smacks this cock around and slaps these balls until they give her what she wants: A healthy dose of nut spray all over her love globes.

Do you have one of those better halves that says things like, "All you do is watch sports! Stop watching T.V.! Go mow the lawn! Go fix something! You never spend time with me! Spend time with the kids! Get off your ass and do something!"? Yeah, we know the type. Mrs. Nagging McNaggerson. Imagine if instead of busting your balls about spending a little time in Couch Potato Land, your better half helped you bust a nut all over said couch. Wouldn't that be nicer? Wouldn't it be better if instead of demanding that you do something, she whipped her tits out and told you that she was going to do you with them? Check out Chavon as she does just that and maybe, just maybe, show this video to your better half. And when she says, "What the fuck is this? Porn!" and starts yelling at you, you just tell her it's an educational video intended to "make your relationship about satisfying each other's emotional and physical needs." She should, in theory, get down on her knees and starting jerking your cock with her mammaries. However, in case that you fall into the 63% of guys' that this doesn't work for and she goes crazy, then we suggest you run out and start mowing that lawn ASAP, buddy, cause you're in deep shit.

Janet Jade is one of those chicks that looks like the girl-next-door. She has these innocent, doe-like eyes that make you think of Bambi's mom. So, at first glance, you kind of forget that she is stacked. Then, of course, she whips those chocolate cannons out of her top and all thoughts of "nice" and "sweet" escape your mind. Instead, you start to think, "Wouldn't it be nice if this chick gave me a tug job?" and then you think, "Yes! That would be fucking sweet!" Watch as Janet wraps her jugs, oh so snug, around this meat and jerks and pulls until she extracts all the jizz she can. We all love girls like Janet.

It's a Friday night and you're out at your local dance club, otherwise known as the place where you go to find hos to stick your dick in. (Don't worry, we don't think you actually go there because you want to dance around like a ballerina, buddy.) The night is looking pretty shitty because the chicks look like hyenas, so you saunter over to the bar to drown your sorrows in a few cold ones before heading back to your pad all alone to whack off. You're spilling a few tears in your beer when you look over and see them. By them, we mean two gigantic, chocolate tits. You look up and there she is, Carmen Hayes, in all her boobarific glory. Her red dress is barely covering her hooters and you know that it's now or never, so you go over and introduce yourself. She rolls her eyes at you but you are not deterred because you know a chick like this is going be to a challenge. So you engage her in a gentleman's wager and she takes the bait. If she can get you off with just her tits, you'll give her a diamond necklace. If she can't, then you get to nail her tight mocha pussy. You go back to the crib and she slams your cock with her bangin' boobies until you spurt. You accept your defeat and when she tries to claim her diamond necklace prize, you tell her the truth: That creamy pearl necklace she is wearing is going to have to suffice. Then you smile and tell her that she should love her new jewelry because you made it yourself and those are the gifts that count the most.

Sarah Sunshine is the kind of cowgirl who likes the rodeo. But we're not talking about the regular rodeo. We are talking about the raunchy rack rodeo. You see, while she likes to mount and ride bucking broncos, she wants the bucking bronco to ride her rack. Watch as this Tennessee sweetie pours honey all over her rack and gets this cowboy's cock sticky and slippery between her knockers. Seeing this lady giddy-up and get down on this dick is all you will need to scream, "Yeehaw!" and then dump your load all over her hot pair of tits.

There are certain Man Laws that guys cannot break, no matter what the circumstances. For example, guys DO NOT watch chick flicks and cry. Another one is that guys DO NOT drink lite beer. Every guy knows that there is NO cuddling after sex unless you are paralyzed and she is assisting you the hospital. All men should understand that two guys do not share the same umbrella, even if there is a deluge going on. It is understood by all dudes that it is not acceptable to own a tiny dog of any breed, ever. And lastly, men do not take bubble baths. That is, of course, unless that bubble bath is with a woman who is of the big-tit persuasion and is promising to jerk you off with not only her hands but with those giant bags o' fun, too. And that woman has to be reigning cock expert and nut-sac draining specialist, Candace Von. It is only under these exact conditions that the no bubble bath law can be circumvented. Thank goodness this guy found that loophole that allowed him to frolic in the suds with Candace, otherwise he might have missed out on what can only be described as the best tits and tug job of all time. Not only does Candace know how to make a cock erupt, she is probably one of the nastiest bitches ever. Of course that's nasty in a good way. Her dirty talk will have you stiff in a heartbeat and cumming in two shakes...or strokes, depending on your style.